Getting through the first 5 months of motherhood

I never imagined myself at home with a sweet babe on my hip. I've always been moving and doing, energized by ideas, projects and deadlines. And when I was pregnant with Emerson, I didn't imagine much changing after she was born. I knew there would be more to juggle and conceptually, I understood more work was headed our way. But when she was born five months ago, Rich and I were blown away by how much our world changed. Our life and relationship with each other intensified and congealed in purpose and meaning. We are completely smitten and enthralled with our sweet baby and love being her parents. But that said, it's been a HARD five months.

Aside from actually having Emerson, my world changed drastically when we decided I was going to take an extended break from the corporate world and explore freelancing, while primarily taking care of E. After the finality of that decision set in, I started having anxiety about the slowness and unpredictability of this new life. Would I fall behind professionally and never catch up? Was I pursing the career I wanted to have? Would I be personally fulfilled? Or would I grow resentful? What would people think? Would I be able to make mom friends? What are mom friends? What do they talk about?

Here are the five things that have been getting me through the past five months:

1. Friends. All of them. Mama, non-mama, older and younger.

I've always valued my friendships, but never realized how extroverted I was until I had a baby. Being at home with no one to talk all day drove me up a wall and left me lethargic and uninspired. After spending time with people I care about, even if it's just an hour for coffee, I'm so energized about life and possibilities. So I've quadrupled my efforts to be more social, make buds and have more community with women. It's been amazing to connect with mamas and immediately relate on a deeply personal level. That said, my friends who don't have children have been equally amazing. There is something so refreshing about laughing about an old workplace or hearing about a friend trying to raise capital for a new side project and never mentioning the word 'sleep training.'

2. Guarding myself against negative thoughts.

It is SO easy for me to fall into the black hole of perfectly stylized motherhood on social media. Any time I've been scrolling through squares on Instagram and had the thought, "Oh, this kind of makes me feel bad about myself or my parenting style." I cut and run. On the flip side, when people inspire me, I've been trying to get out of my shell and write a comment to engage and tell them how much I appreciate their perspective.

3. Being vulnerable.

At first, I wasn't comfortable telling people how much I hated breastfeeding, that my weight was not "melting off", that I didn't feel like I could soothe my baby, that her waking up early from a nap was frustrating and felt like stolen time. But slowly I started confiding in people and was met with head nodding and encouragement instead of the judgment I feared. Not only did I find the support I needed, but my own vulnerability was able to fast-track my relationships into a deeper, more honest place.

4. Making goals, however small.

I've always been pretty goal oriented, so I've found ways to incorporate some discipline into this unpredictable new life. I started really really small in the first few weeks. My goal would be to change out of the clothes I slept in by 4pm. Or make myself a smoothie for lunch. One girl I know got coffee at the same coffee shop every morning for most of her adult life, so on her maternity leave, her daily goal was to get out of the house every day for that cup of joe.

As Emerson becomes more independent, I've tried to photograph one thing a day. Sometimes I'll be able to shoot and style my heart out. Other days, I take three frames while E starts tuning up for a meltdown in her bouncy chair.

In the back of mind, I have large overarching goals I want to achieve, like setting up a thriving enough photography and design freelancing gig that will sustain me when Emerson is off to school. But I try to reassure myself that the small steps will turn into larger leaps in time.

5. Laying out my needs and expectations.

Rich and I have pretty good communication, but we have needed be more clear and direct about our struggles and expectations. After a few months of E taking erratic naps during the day, I got to a breaking point with never having time to work. I would start shooting something perishable like food or botanicals, and E would start crying the MINUTE my camera started to click. So we started getting more creative with our schedules and explored one of us working on a weekend day while the other would be on full-time baby duty.

At the end of the day, I'm still a very new mom and don't have anything really figured out. I'm not posting this to offer advice, but to simply share what's been hard, what's worked, and open a dialogue to hear your stories. Do you have any advice for getting through the first couple months of mamahood?

big news! we're having a BABY and it's a...

We are so very excited to announce that we're having a baby this spring!

I'm a few months along (almost 20 weeks to be exact) and hopefully that explains why I've been somewhat MIA around the blog lately. My second trimester of pregnancy has brought with it an influx of energy and excitement, so we've been diving full swing into nursery preparation and will have some really rad DIY's to share in the coming weeks (think a dresser, bookcase, and decor galore!) 

We had our midterm ultrasound this past weekend and found out the gender of our little peanut. To celebrate and surprise our families with the news, I made a special cake. And if I'm baking a celebration cake, you better believe I'm going to make it a gradient ombre layer cake.

I made this little garland of tassels out of some leftover tissue paper I had from our wedding crafts, twine and long wooden skewers. A step-by-step of the tassel garland DIY can be found below alongside the unbelievably delicious white cake and buttercream frosting recipe.

Anyways, back to the reveal! Without further ado, we're having a... GIRL! So pumped.

We are completely and utterly smitten and cannot wait for the weeks, months and years ahead! 

Would you want to, or did you, find out the gender of your baby ahead of time? And if so, did you do anything special to reveal the gender to your families? I love hearing about all of the creative ways people are revealing their little one's genders. People are so darn creative!

Gender Reveal Ombre Cake

White Cake recipe

Vanilla buttercream frosting recipe

Wilton's Rose Petal pink icing color

6 inch wooden skewers

Tissue paper of your choosing

Twine

Clear dental floss

Scissors

Step 1: Make the white cake (recipe above). Divide batter into four equal parts. Put the first batch of cake batter back into the mixer and add the tiniest bit of icing color. Blend until combined. (Side note- if you're using icing color instead of liquid food coloring, be careful, this stuff is highly pigmented, so you will need a lot LESS than you'd think). Repeat this step with the remaining batches, increasing the amount of food coloring you add with each batch until you achieve the desired color. 

Step 2: Grease 6 inch cake pans and bake at 350 degrees for 33-36 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let cakes cool in the baking pans for 5-7 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. 

Step: After cakes are cooled, frost the cakes and put them in the fridge while you make your tassel garland. 

Step 4: Cut the tissue papers of your choosing into long rectangular strips, about 2 inches long by 12 inches wide. Using scissors, make long cuts in the width to about .5 inches to the top. 

Step 5: Roll the tissue paper up and secure using clear dental floss. 

Step 6: Once all of your tassels are made, tie them to a piece of twine. Tie the twine to the long wooden skewers.

AMUSEMENT PARK LOVE

When I was 15 years old, I went to Kennywood Amusement Park and met a shy cute boy. We became very dear friends, lost touch in college, reconnected, fell in love, lived in a new city, moved back to our home city of Pittsburgh and got married. Our story is thirteen years in the making, and it all began staring awkwardly at our feet and sneaking glances at the carousel in the middle of an amusement park.

We went back to Kennywood this year and it was still full of the same wonder and excitement we experienced as kids. Who doesn't love roller coasters, amusement park junk food and good old nostalgia? I, for one, can never pass up a soft serve ice cream cone with sprinkles.

Check out the best parts of our day after the jump!

An Illustration & DIY Frame

This was my parent's Christmas present. The graphite illustration is a Rich Kelly original :) It's a scene from the movie, "It's a Wonderful Life," my dad's all-time favorite.

In addition to the beautiful illustration, Rich handcrafted the frame with reclaimed gymnasium flooring from our local architectural salvage group Philadelphia Salvage. They have the coolest materials and we love wandering through their Mt Airy store.



Building the frame out of gymnasium flooring was intentional and complimented Rich's illustration perfectly.

In the movie, George Bailey and Mary Hatch meet and dance the Charleston together on a retractable gymnasium floor. While dancing, prankster Freddie opens the gym floor, prompting George and Mary to fall in the swimming pool but continue dancing and eventually draw the entire crowd into the pool. It's a pivotal and lighthearted scene, as well as the catalyst for George Bailey's life to begin.







And this is the piece's resting place in my parents' new home...

A Guide to Pittsburgh (in Flipbook form)

This weekend, Pittsburgh will welcome two rad new residents. My dear friend Jessica and her hubby Doug are moving from East to West across Pennsylvania to start their new life in the Burgh.

As someone who has city-hopped over the last couple years, I was excited to share some of my favorite Pittsburgh spots with them in the form of a flip-book to make their transition a little smoother.




By Neighborhood

Oakland
Lulu's Noodles
Caliban Used Books
Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens
Carnegie Museums (especially the dinos at the Natural History!)

Waterfront
Pre-order a dozen of Nancy B's chocolate chip cookies and prepare to eat the BEST cookies of your life

Oakmont
Oakmont Bakery
BrrKee's Ice Cream (get a scoop of Kahlua flavor)
Walk along the train tracks

Point Breeze
East End Brewery for the Growler hours
East End Food Co-op
Point Brugge Cafe for mussels and frites
The Cafe at the Frick for brunch or tea

Squirrel Hill
Gullifty's a Pittsburgh dessert staple
Bankok Balcony yummy tofu curry
Aiello's Pizza my brother Taylor, a pizza guru, swears it's the best

Shadyside
MCN Salon for a pampering cut & color
Girasole for a romantic date night
Oh Yeah! Ice Cream for a yummy scoop (dog friendly!)
Amazing Yoga for sweats and stretches

Regent Square
D's 6 Pax for hot dogs and the beer cave
Ambiance Boutique thrift
Square Cafe for brunch
Regent Square Theater for an indie flick

South Side
Drink some beer at Fat Head's Saloon
Frequent the following restaurants: Dish Osteria, Cafe du Jour and Nakama (get the sushi)
Big Dog Coffee for a spritzer and cup o' joe with your pup

Downtown & the Strip
Roxanne's Dried Flowers
Primanti's, Pamela's Diner and Enrico Biscotti
Take a walk around and under the Convention Center
Kayak ride at PNC Park

East Liberty
Kelly-Strayhorn Theater
Conflict Kitchen & The Waffle Shop
Paris 66

*(I should have added Lawrenceville to the book)

Lawrenceville
Piccolo Forno for amazing flatbread - BYOB
WildCard for hipster goodies (think a glorified Paper Source with a Pittsburgh flair)

my burning house

The Burning House project by Foster Huntington asks what you would reach for and run with if your house was on fire.

This is my submission, which just so happened to appear on his site this week.




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• Trusty brown leather purse
• My grandmother’s necklace and mother’s earrings
• The Book of Garden Flowers
• Thrifted Cake Serving Knife
• My favorite shirt and belt
• Copper Bundt Pan
• Well-worn Converse sneaks
• Favorite hand-painted plates and keys
• My camera
• My Macbook and iPhone
• Full hard drive with all my photographs
• Measuring Spoons
• My Passport and favorite leather cardholder
• Cigar box that holds treasures
• Handmade candlesticks from Uganda gifted from dear friend Lindsey

Go peruse the site and ask yourself the same question. It's freeing and revealing to see a visual representation of your valuable possessions.

a la violet beauregarde

I always have a pack of bubble gum in my purse. The last several years of my chewing gum addiction has led me to try almost every brand and flavor of gum on the market. Icebreakers, Stride, 5, Trident, Orbit, I didn't discriminate at first. I bought whatever was on sale or whatever new packaging grabbed my attention.



But as my chewing gum palette became more refined (as if chewing gum can ever be refined), I became more and more selective about my gum choices. Leading me to be able to give a pretty detailed breakdown of why I like what I like.

This is a fair representation of me on a daily basis...




The bright neon colors and poorly designed packaging of the grocery store gum aisle scream visually loud enough to make you turn around and walk away.



But instead of grabbing the first thing that holds your gaze, recall this below chart for your maximum chewing pleasure.

The chart features my 'best of the best' picks. They all taste delicious... at first. But how they maintain their flavor is a very different story.



Let's start on the bottom...

• Icebreaker's Ice Cubes in Lemon and Raspberry is delicious. The first five seconds of the chewing experience is bold, sweet, and one of the best artificial Lemon and Raspberry tastes I've enjoyed. Sadly, the bliss ends after those 5-10 seconds and you're left with a pretty bland gum.

• Orbit Mist Raspberry Lemon Dew is really yummy and such a great flavor combo. It lasts a little longer than the Icebreaker's Ice Cubes, but not by much, maybe a few minutes.

• 5 gum is known for holding great flavor, and I'm only speaking about their fruity flavors (React and Vortex), but on the 'holding flavor' scale it ranks right in the middle. The flavors aren't nearly as potent or bold as the Icebreakers or Orbit flavors, but the flavor holds and there's something to be said for that.

• Trident Vitality is one of Trident's newer gums that boasts added Vitamin C. The taste is solid and different with more citrus than strawberry and the flavor lasts.

• Extra's Dessert Delights are SO tasty and unique. There are three dessert flavors; Orange Creamsicle, Strawberry Shortcake and Mint Chocolate Chip

• Trident Layers is at the top of my list. It's my go-to gum for surprisingly long lasting flavor and the biggest bang for your buck. It beats out its competitors by a long haul and has rad flavors and tastes to boot. My favorite is either the Apple & Pineapple or Strawberry & Citrus but the Mint & Melon is equally interesting. Take my word, buy this gum and give it a whirl. You won't be disappointed.

happy father's day, dad

Over the last several weeks, I've experienced a responsibility overload. 8-week-old Scout, and a job of caring for two young delicate lives, requires constant attention, exercise, food, and middle-of-the-night potty breaks. It's pointless to say I'm completely spent. But I am.

This tiny glimpse into parenthood has stopped in my tracks and left me in total awe of the sacrifice my own parents made for my livelihood.




So on this Father's Day, I thank my amazing and humble dad in the most sincere sense. His grace, unconditional love, integrity, and selflessness set the bar high. He is a 'still waters run deep' kind of man. Deeply sentimental with the ability to continually look forward. A former college football player that can appreciate a great musical, classical music, and art.

He's such a good man, that Mark Schubert.

have a great weekend!

There has been no shortage of excitement and surprise over the last few weekends here in Chicago. Plenty of grilling, brunching, shopping in markets full of fresh produce, and adopting 8-week-old black Lab puppies named Scout have kept us busy and incredibly content.




This seems to be the new (and wonderful) pace of life.

a beautiful day in the neighborhood

I am in the honeymoon stage of spring. In the sense that when I walk out the door in the morning, the warm and comforting breeze is surprising and new to me. My mind and muscles, still trained to brace for the great outdoors, tense as they know they'll have to work hard to keep my extremities warm and my thoughts hopeful.
As of late, they relax as I take a deep breathe of warm air and realize they won't have to work so hard for the next few months.

Taking advantage of this still-surprising warm has come easy. Walking around my Chicago neighborhood and admiring landscaping and architecture could keep me occupied for hours.

a pitt stop

I spent the weekend in lovely Pittsburgh for Mother's Day. Defying the grim weather forecast, it was filled with sun and warmth. Family, yummy food, and a little therapeutic weeding in the garden with my mother was just what the doctor ordered.

Harry Potter-inspired tent for a birthday

Roommate Kevin's 25th birthday was Monday. Kevin really loves Harry Potter. And I really love Harry Potter. We both agree that after a hard day, there's no better remedy for the heart than to curl up with a blueberry pie and watch The Goblet of Fire.

A favorite scene occurs when Harry and the Weasley's walk into the Weasley's seemingly modest tent at the Quidditch World Cup campground to find a beautiful indoor tented world awaiting them.

So for his birthday, we transformed the kitchen into our own version of the Weasley's tent and baked a yummy blueberry pie.




And the pie...





To keep things authentic, Erica made Kevin a letter of acceptance into Hogwarts, along with Hedwig the white owl, and a Sword of Gryffindor.

sweet christine

This is my mother.



Today is her birthday. And she turned somewhere between 55 and divine perfection.Happy birthday Mom. I wish we could nibble on Walnut Raisin toast from Whole Foods and sip coffee together this morning. Your birthday package should arrive this afternoon (don't you dare let me down USPS!)





And now, 10 reasons why my mom is just the most amazing...

1. Growing up, she filled our shelves with books and our garden with flowers and showed a green thumb was as precious as a cultivated mind.

2. She is always game for going to see a movie. Even the midnight showing.

3. A 150 lb Newfie named Lulu knows she's the boss.

4. She hates 'the Facebook'.

5. She is 'the Franchise of our family' -My Dad

6. She knows more pop culture references and rap artists than I do.

7. She devours books and recalls characters of fiction years after reading them and speaks of them as she would of old friends.

8. She holds her baked goods to the highest standard and would rather wake up at 5AM to bake a batch of fresh cookies than 'take the easy route' baking the night before.

9. 'She is so interesting because she is so interested' -my best friend Lindsey

10. If you call her and tell her that you really need your mother, she will drive across the state, or country, to be with you.

I love you mom.